Finding the Truth!
by BonesBoy15
Summary: In another time...another place...another would rise to answer the question 'What If...' This is NOT that story.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Dragonball / Z / GT. Reader discretion is advised.**

 **Finding the Truth**

 **Naruto VS Goku!**

* * *

Alright, boys and girls, here we are with another stat sheet. Are you ready? Good!

First things first, let's make this one hundred and ten percent clear, I don't want to be misinterpreted or misunderstood: There. Are. No. Stats.

"But BonesBoy15," you say, "There has to be stats! How will we ever know who is stronger? Goku or Naruto? Vegeta or Sasuke? Chi-Chi or Hinata?"

...Well, that last one is admittedly a good question I wouldn't mind seeing answered – we are talking about Anonymous facing off against the Lion Handmaiden with _terrible_ timing here (Admit it, you went "WTF, _NOW_? YOU CHOOSE _NOW_?" when Hinata tried to save Naruto from Yahiko's Body) – but yes, there are no stats.

Simply put, it's not fair either way, to Naruto _or_ Goku for them to be broken down to numbers.

Now, I'm not saying I hate on these debates, far from it, I'm just saying there's no real way to _ever_ choose which is which. Oh, some of you are telling me to "Read the stat sheet by fairy tale dragon slayer" (been there and thought it was interesting) or "Go watch Screw Attack's DeathBattle" (I do watch it and I think it's a riot) or "Naruto would win because blah, blah, blah" or "Goku would win because of blah, blah, blah" – whatever, that's fine.

Those are all fine and dandy reasons, you like who you like, read/watch what you read; I'm just voicing an opinion here, an opinion backed by one, simple, _very_ overlooked fact.

The worlds of _Naruto_ and _Dragonball Z_ are not in the same plane of existence!

These are two separately constructed universes – One was partially based off of the other, for goodness' sakes! – with two very different creators.

Akira Toriyama is _not_ Masashi Kishimoto.

Masashi Kishimoto is _not_ Akira Toriyama.

"But Bonesboy15, we have data books! Can't we use those numbers and facts to compare the characters?"

...No! No, you _can't_!

Naruto does _not_ have access to magical balls of power that could grant wishes – Hell, the world of _Naruto_ doesn't make any real reference to magic at all. (Unless you count chakra, or the Illusionary Techniques (Genjutsu), but that's not 'magic' in the traditional sense of the term.)

In Dragonball Z – since that is where Goku is at his strongest and most make their arguments from – Goku doesn't use weaponry to augment his fighting style or the elements to catch his opponents off guard or counter his opponents. (Goku stopped using the Power Pole a _long_ time ago, so that doesn't count! Last I saw it, the pole was connecting Korin's Tower to Kami's Lookout. Even _that_ is debatable!)

It's like comparing Marvel to DC. Yes, some things are similar, but overall it's not fair to really compare them because they're NOT in the same universe. They don't have the same problems and they don't have the same heroes. Each has their own story and putting them together seems like a great idea, but I doubt that either hero would really fight each other.

Sure, Goku might, but Naruto, depending on the age you choose, may not want to. Hell, he may try to talk Goku out of it...and succeed!

"Make 'em fight! A misunderstanding or slip-up or Beerus tries to destroy a new world and makes a black hole that Goku gets sucked into and draws attention from a military village!"

...Okay, yeah, the last one I took from CW's _The Flash_ , but I love that show despite some odd choices they made. (Seriously, Jay Garrick without speed? Such a downer...Thank god they made up for it with that scene...You know the one.)

"Naruto gets summoned by the dragon balls and Goku bets him into a fight!"

I think Naruto would want to focus more on getting home than fighting some guy.

Alright, I've made my point. I _firmly_ believe it's unfair to have either character be reduced to a stupid, pointless grouping of numbers in a stat sheet.

I _love_ both series and I can't choose who wins the fight, because I'd rather see them fight _together_ than _against_ each other!

So, for reading through my rant, I give you this stupid little scene I thought up while reading the various other stat sheets.

* * *

 **Note: This is not a use of an entirely canonical Naruto or Goku. This is meant to be taken lightly as a plot of crack.**

 **Naruto Meets Goku!**

* * *

"For the last time, I don't know how I got here, alright, lady?" A blond haired, blue-eyed teenager groaned. The teen was rather tall, and had his right arm wound tightly in bandages, dressed in orange pants and a black, zipped up jacket that had a red band with a black spiral on it. Around his head was a black headband with a steel plate that had a spiral leaf carved into it and on both of his cheeks were three whisker-like birthmarks.

He was stuck in a small room without any windows, vents or secret exits. The only way out was a door that he could force his way through, but he didn't want to hurt anyone. Even if the blue-haired lady across from him was getting on his nerves with her questions. His tenant said that he couldn't feel any negative emotions – mostly confusion or a large amount of annoyance – coming from the people they knew were watching them, so the blond was willing to give the woman the benefit of the doubt.

The woman sighed.

"Look, kid-"

"Naruto." The blond, Naruto, grunted. He was sick of being called a kid. He wasn't a kid! He was a full-fledged shinobi of Konohagakure no Sato! Arguably the strongest of his village! He had duties to get back to...if only he could remember what started it all...Or how he got here.

" _I said I'm working on it!"_ a voice growled in the back of his head.

 _Work faster!_ Naruto thought as he listened to the woman start again.

"Naruto. You fell out of the sky. I don't know how it is where you're from, but here when that happens, someone usually wants to destroy the planet. I just want to make sure that you're not some sort of android or cyborg or alien that is potentially dangerous. Like just five months ago, I had to watch my-"

" _This woman has no goddamn idea..."_ The deep voice of Naruto's tenant drowned out the blue-haired woman's story.

 _Memories, Kurama. Please stay focused?_ Naruto groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

" _Fine, fine..."_

The woman slammed a hand on the table in annoyance and Naruto jumped slightly. Badass shinobi he may be, but he wasn't the best with ninja reflexes outside of combat.

"Are you even listening to me?" The woman asked, a scowl on her face.

"...Yes?" Naruto hedged. The woman took a deep breath through her nostrils and Naruto cringed. That was a sign that usually came before a fist of doom impacted with his head.

"...Maybe a few more minutes alone will loosen your lips." The woman mumbled. She stood up and stormed over to the door, which was flung open and then slammed shut behind her.

Naruto blinked owlishly. _She...Didn't hit me? Huh...That's weird._

" _You're weird, Naruto."_

 _Shut up, Kurama!_ Naruto thought with a frown. He closed his eyes and extended his natural senses. He felt a bit of anger rise from some who were outside of the room, but it wasn't aimed at him. There was some muffled yelling from outside the door. Naruto knew that he if he did make a break for it, the outcome would be a chase - he'd probably lose his pursuers eventually - but even then, where would he go? He didn't know where he was, he didn't know why they said he fell from the sky, and her talk of cyborgs and androids – whatever the heck _those_ were – made him a bit unnerved.

The doorknob clicked and Naruto's eyes opened. A man with crazy black hair and a smile on his face walked in. The man was muscled, visible under his clothing that brought a small twinkle to Naruto's eye. He wore an orange gi and pants, blue accents where required.

Naruto liked him already.

"Hiya!" The man greeted cheerfully. He left the door open and plopped down in the chair across from Naruto. "My name's Son Goku, what's yours?"

"Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto couldn't help but look at the door for a quick second.

"Where ya from?"

Naruto looked back at the man, a brow arched. "What do you mean? Isn't it obvious?"

Goku blinked. Naruto pointed at his headband with a thumb.

"Doesn't this mean anything to you?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's a leaf."

"Right."

They held a moment of silence before Naruto blinked.

"Don't you...know what that means?"

Goku shook his head. "Nope! Well, I mean, yes, I know what a leaf is, it grows on the trees to gather nutrients for them from the sun."

"...That's not what I meant...Oh man..." Naruto groaned into his hand. "Do you know what Konohagakure no Sato is?"

"The village hidden in the tree leaves?" Goku mumbled and tapped his chin. He shrugged. "Nope, can't say that I know where that is."

"Great." The blond sighed and hung his head.

" _Would now be an appropriate time to tell you that you were working on a new seal matrix that would expand the space in a traditional sealing scroll?"_

Naruto barely resisted the urge to glare at his navel.

His eyebrow, however, twitched something fierce.

"Is that where you're from?" Goku asked. Naruto sighed and nodded. Goku smiled and let out a small chuckle. "Sounds pretty nice."

"It is..." Naruto mumbled. He sat forward and crossed his arms before they set on the table. He sighed. "...How am I going to get home?"

"Well, we could use the Dragon Balls to get you home if that's all you need." Goku suggested.

"The dragon's _what_?" _"Did he just say what I think he did?"_ Naruto, and by extension Kurama, gave the grinning fool an odd look.

"The Dragon Balls! They're magical orange balls with red stars in them that grant wishes when gathered together."

"...Are you kidding me?"

"Nope!"

"Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's get those Dragon Balls and send me home!" Naruto declared joyfully, standing up and ready to head for the door.

"We can't yet," Goku said apologetically.

"What? Why not!?" Naruto asked, looking back at him.

"I forgot to mention that after every wish is made, the Dragon Balls revert to stones and can't be found for one whole year. And they were used recently to bring one of my old enemies back." Goku explained. Naruto hung his head and slumped into his seat.

"A whole year..." Naruto groaned. "I can't sit around for a whole year."

"You don't have to! We only have a month or so until they're available to use again, and we don't really need anything," Goku said with a chuckle. He scratched the back of his head. "Not to mention Chi-Chi would probably get mad again if I wished for a new strong opponent to fight."

"...Okay...So, a month huh? Boy, Kakashi-sensei is going to be pissed..." Naruto mumbled. He paled. "And Sakura is, too...A whole month. How am I going to explain that?"

"You know, someone once told me that you shouldn't worry too much about the future, otherwise you'll miss the present, and before you know it, it'll have become the past," Goku said wisely, his arms folded over his chest. Naruto looked at him and gained a small smile.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. ...Say, Goku, why did you decide to help me?" Naruto asked.

"Huh? I need a reason to help someone?" Goku asked, blinking owlishly.

"...Goku, I think you and I are going to get along just fine." Naruto grinned like a fox while his tenant sighed.

"Great!" Goku beamed at the proclamation. He clapped his hands together once. "So, want to go meet the others? You've already met Bulma, she's not so bad when she and Vegeta aren't arguing. You caught her at a bad time. Between you and me, I think she's pregnant."

There was a loud rumbling and Naruto rubbed his stomach.

"Um, maybe after I eat?"

"Sure! C'mon, I'll show you where the kitchen is!"

"Awesome. Do you guys have ramen?"

"What flavor?"

"Any."

"And then some. It'll only take a second for the capsule's smoke to settle."

"Oh, great. Three minutes..."

"What? No, my wife and Bulma developed a surefire way to keep my friends and I full, they pre-make everything and then store the meals in capsules. I'm sure we've got a ramen buffet capsule somewhere."

"...Goku?"

"Yeah, Naruto."

"...Are we dead?"

"Uh, no, I don't think so. I don't have a halo, do I?"

"No..."

"Good! Then we're not dead. Why'd you ask?"

"Because I think I'm in heaven."

* * *

 **End**

 **Yeah, like I said, crack. Not meant to be taken seriously. Hope you enjoyed it.**


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